Message to Kane: stop making music
Dutch rock band Kane is being targeted by a Facebook page in Dutch called ‘A million haters can’t be wrong: at a million likes Kane will stop. We’re assuming.’
Branded as the Dutch Nickelback, a Canadian band that has no unique qualities of its own either according to its online reputation, Kane’s music although in English generally does not take a stance on anything but lovey-doveyness.
“They use slogan-like lyrics with no depth of meaning and nothing they do hasn’t already been done before by countless native English-speaking bands,” says a Dutch friend. “Some people have a lot of ambition, but no talent. Kane is an example of a collection of people with a lot of ambition, but no talent, ” Dutch weekly HP/DeTijd wrote after hearing about the Facebook page.
To back up this Dutch phenomenon of trying to sound American through self-effacing behaviour, famous Belgian artist Ton Barman of the band dEUS, quickly earning European fame already back in 1991, had this to say about the differences between Dutch and Belgian artists (and I paraphrase):
“Dutch artists seem to feel more of a need to mimic Americans, while in Belgium it’s not cool to sound that what at all. A band like Kane would flop in Belgium, as it has no self-awareness, no irony and is too serious. Sure dEUS has some Captain Beefheart and Velvet Underground in it, but it also has some Jacques Brel and Serge Gainsbourg. The Dutch unfortunately aren’t lucky enough to be lodged between the French and Dutch culture like we are, which is very important.”
There are tons of excellent Dutch bands who sing in many languages and dialects, but this wanting to be more sterile than a hospital operating room can’t be a good thing for posterity.