Shine on you like a deer in headlights

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I never used to care about the Eurovision Song Contest because it’s just sugary pop music with too much flash and slutty outfits (not really in a good way). But ever since 2006 when a fully costumed Finnish hard rock band won, and in 2007 the second place went to a campy Ukranian crossdresser singing in a Russian-pseudo German mishmash language stole the show, I keep abreast of the finals hoping something outrageous will happen again.

The Dutch have had no luck in ages. They were knocked out of the semi-finals in 2006, 2007 and 2008, their best score in recent years, and now instead of sending pretty young women who can sing, they are sending in the “big guns”: three ‘older’ men, namely singers Gordon, Rene Froger and Jeroen van der Boom who call themselves The Toppers.

They playbacked on television yesterday instead of actually singing, which caused a commotion in the press, the number they sang was possibly written by some woman and not Gordon although she can’t prove it, and many experts agree the song is not very good, which is Dutch for “it sucks.”

It’s one big string of clichés (in English) and it screams midlife crisis. The idea of sending experienced artists is good, but if they can’t sing live, they are dead in the water. Kudoz to their big and beautiful backup singers, which is a good bold move.

A quick tour of the contestants shows a young, blond Belgian-Turkish woman representing Turkey, Hadise (love that dual citizenship), while Slovenia has some elegant string quartet called Quartissimo with a young, blond female singer. Then, there is also the famous young enough and blond enough Patricia Kaas who will represent France and cannot possibly do worse than the Netherlands.

Am I the only one who thinks that singing the words “love will make us glow in the dark” in Moscow is really funny?

6 Comments »

  1. The Toppers always suck big time, but this song is even worse.
    Stupid disco beat, horrific choreography, bad singing.

    And still the “SBS audience” will love this poor crap.

    Comment by Jeroen Mirck — February 2, 2009 @ 9:53 pm

  2. “Am I the only one who thinks that singing the words “love will make us glow in the dark” in Moscow is really funny?”

    Would be worse if it was in Kiev. :) Who follows the Eurovision songfestival anyway? It’s become a parody of itself. Sort of like Fox News.

    Comment by Barry — February 4, 2009 @ 4:49 pm

  3. “followed by a campy Ukranian crossdresser singing in a Russian-pseudo German mishmash language stole the show”

    Did I miss that? Dima Bilan came in 2nd, right?

    Comment by Darth Paul — February 4, 2009 @ 7:52 pm

  4. You’re absolutely right, My Ukranian guy was in 2007. Thanks!!

    Comment by Orangemaster — February 4, 2009 @ 7:58 pm

  5. “many experts agree the song is not very good, which is Dutch for “it sucks.” ”

    I rolled over laughing, excellent line! The other way around also applies, where “not half bad” is Dutch for “excellent”

    Comment by Eric — February 4, 2009 @ 9:27 pm

  6. […] who missed it. We were collectively embarrased when Dutch gay-oriented icons The Toppers sang a mouthful of clichés and blinded the audience with lights as camouflage. I was already traumatised with the […]

    Pingback by 24 oranges » ‘We’re sending an Indian to the Eurovision Song Contest’ — February 27, 2012 @ 12:08 pm

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