Utrecht hair salon Local Heroes has won ‘the worst business slogan of 2016’ with ‘Zit je haircut’, a Dunglish joke that needs some unpacking. Pronounce ‘hair’ in English and ‘cut’ (‘kut’) in Dutch, the latter being the word for what the Brits call the ‘c-bomb’, but in this case means ‘shitty’. And so if your hair is looking shitty, come to their place, they’ll apparently fix it for you.
The second place went to a plumber in The Hague for ‘Your shit is my food’, as in ‘Your pooh is my daily bread’, but in a shitty, Dunglish, roundabout way, and third place was for a lingerie shop in Epe, Gelderland with ‘Tiet voor een goede bh’, which is trying to say ‘Time for a new bra’, but the word ‘tiet’ means ‘tit’ and is a play on the pronunciation of ‘time’ in Dutch. Women came up with that one, by the way.
Gypsy musician Tata Mirando from Arnhem, aka Djangela Mirando (you may all know his family, the Mirando gypsy family), recently bought a violin for 50 euro at flea market in Den Bosch worth about 100,000 euro.
An elderly woman sold the violin, which was part of the collection of her departed husband. For his money Mirando also got a bag full of sheet music which contained a certificate of authenticity of the violin, stating that it was a Giuseppe Guadagnini from 1801. Mirando thinks the violin is worth less and says it does need to be fixed up.
Here’s what the Mirando clan sounds like in a restaurant in Epe, Gelderland
Today the town of Epe, Gelderland has declared open hunting season on wild pigs. Apparently, the boars cause problems inside and outside of town, wrecking gardens and wandering downtown at night, catching drivers off guard. Solution? Shoot them on the edge of town, because they will reproduce. When they make it in town, they will be shot at with a gun used for fireworks. Thursday the real shooting will get underway by people hired to do so.
Is it just me or will local restaurants with culinary insight want to get in on this?