March 16, 2014

Remarkable election posters from the Netherlands

Filed under: General by Branko Collin @ 2:22 pm

The municipal elections are around the corner and many news outlets took the opportunity to discuss what they feel are the funniest (Binnenlands Bestuur), clumsiest (AD) or outright silliest (Adformatie) election posters of the current campaign.

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The hockey poster for VVD (“we want more artificial grass for our hockey players”) caused one punter to say: “VVD has an eye for the serious problems of the rich”.

The poster for Platform Lokale Partijen will raise an eyebrow with those familiar with the earlier work of satirists Van Kooten and De Bie. The two men on the poster are the spitting image of two early 1980s’ characters of the comedians, the two extreme right-wing politicians (and part-time crooks) Jacobse and Van Es. The duo killed off the characters when a certain part of the electorate started to take the over-the-top policies of their fictional party seriously.

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Koen Hawinkels became a minor Facebook sensation with his “do me” campaign—presumably everybody thought “why?” In Dutch “Koen” rhymes with “doen”. The party with the curious name Sociaal Rechts (‘social right-wing’) drew attention for obvious reasons; their poster shows a man spanking somebody else’s bare bottom. If you look closer you will see that the victim’s underwear sports the logos of two other parties, VVD and PvdA, who currently form the national government.

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January 30, 2011

Classic Dutch carnival: Stoned as a Shrimp

Filed under: Music by Orangemaster @ 6:00 pm

Some 12 years ago after my first real Dutch party, someone bravely got up the next morning, made coffee and threw on a CD of comedy songs and sketches by Kees van Kooten and Wim de Bie (aka ‘Koot en Bie’), one of the most famous Dutch comedy acts ever. I could understand the odd word, but this song called ‘Stoont Als ‘n Garnaal’ was something I could dig. It means ‘Stoned as a Shrimp’ (I’d rather have an aliteration, so I didn’t use ‘prawn’ on purpose), and the Dutch ‘stoont’ is incorrect on purpose, it should also be ‘stoned’.

(roughly translated)

At uncle Piet’s party
There was some very good weed
After the second ‘stick’
Everyone got a kick
But Granny Van de Kamp
Wanted to get higher
Started swinging from the lamp
And sang this refrain

We’re as stoned as a shrimp
Stoned as a shrimp
Take another toke
‘Cause stoned as a shrimp
That’s what we all are

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November 14, 2009

Best Children for Children’s song of the past 30 years

Filed under: Music by Branko Collin @ 1:41 pm

This song from the Kinderen voor Kinderen choir (‘Children for Children’) was voted their best song last Saturday, public broadcaster VARA announced according to Volkskrant. The song is called ‘Op een Onbewoond Eiland’ (‘On a Desert Island’).

My personal favourite, Waanzinnig Gedroomd (‘Dreamed Outrageously’, ik heb zo WAA-WAA-WAA-WAANZINNIG gedroomd) came in second. Both songs were written by Tony Eyk who wrote Van Kooten en De Bie’s Ballen in Me Buik and the Studio Sport theme song, which everybody knows.

Not too shabby is ‘Ik Ben Toch Zeker Sinterklaas Niet’ (‘Do I Look Like Saint Nick?’), the video of which is definitely a blast from the past. You can pinpoint the exact year just from the fact that it has a Commodore 128 home computer in it.

Kinderen voor Kinderen was a choir initially founded by VARA for charity, the idea being that the proceeds of their records would go to help children in poor countries. It was heavily ridiculed for the snooty, Gooi ‘R’ that the children in it used, and which sounds almost exactly like the British word ‘air.’ You can hear a sample at the start of this Kinderen voor Kinderen parody Ik Heb Die Zwaar Bekakte R Niet (‘I Lack That Snooty R’) by fake children’s choir De Boksbeugeltjes (‘The Brass Knuckles’).

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