February 3, 2017

Carnival hits 2017: Mexicans, firemen and a favourite

Filed under: Music by Orangemaster @ 6:18 pm

Nothing divides the Dutch like carnival. This year’s harvest is more about drinking and not thinking, but here are two pre-screened videos for your cringeworthy enjoyment, and a classic that I like to sing along with.

1. Watch ‘Mexicans’ build a wall, with English subtitles in ‘Trumpet’ (Grab ‘m By The Pussy)’ by the Bucket Boys ft. DJ Maurice. This hopefully needs no explanation.

2. Vieze Jack with ‘Brandweerman Jack’ (‘Fireman Jack’) is funny enough to actually watch because he’s so over the top. This time all the dirty lyrics are about being on fire and long nozzles while ripping off disco hit Ma Baker by Boney M.

3. ‘Zachte G harde L’ (Soft G Hard L) by Joss van Oss. The Dutch of the South speak with a less guttural G and considered soft, while the L refers to his dick, as the Dutch word is ‘lul’. Put the rest together yourselves.

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January 21, 2015

Carnival hits 2015: swearing, creepy fitness and fake leather

Filed under: Music by Orangemaster @ 11:24 am

Carnival is less than a month away, so it’s time to fire up some wacky carnival hits for 2015.

FeestChaos (‘Party Chaos’) starts us off with an English-language carnival song called ‘Who The F*** Is Alice’, a reworking of Smokie’s song ‘Living Next Door to Alice’ from 1977 and Nijmegen band Gompie’s next level 1995 version ‘Alice, Who The F*** is Alice?’. You’ll see cafe singing, drinking and dancing, a Hummer limo, children swearing and some serious devoicing of consonants, which makes every ‘s’ sound like that snake in the Jungle Book.

Vieze Jack (‘Dirty Jack’) gives us the corny pun named song, ‘Jump 4 Jack’. Dirty Jack looks more like a zombie than a pervert, but acts like a pervert channeling a blond version of Elvis imitating a zombie. You’ll see men in drag, tits, ass, balls, and a Scotsman with a kilt, bagpipes and no underwear. The song is not too bad, the lyrics are all easy sex puns and the bagpipe riff works for me. Contains 1980s style sexual harassment at the gym and, as an added bonus, some zoophilia.

Although the song is unoriginal, Alberto pokes fun at the very recently former mayor of Maastricht, Onno Hoes. Alberto probably refers to Hoes’ ex-husband Albert. The song is called ‘Onno (mag ik je toyboy zijn?)’ (‘Onno, can I be your toy boy’?) and relates to his recent demise. The unfaithful and not very discreet Hoes was hanging in there as the mayor until some young ‘toy boy from Almere’ told the media stories about him and Onno getting together. The mayor’s exuberant sex life led to a vote to push him out of office. He survived the vote, but eventually resigned.

You’ll see some of the Village People, carnival costumes and a disco ball effect. The idea of the song is better than the song or the video. The lyrics are a bit nasty, but points for being ‘politically relevant’.

(Link: nieuws.nl, Photo of the carnival Prince in Sittard, Limburg throwing oranges)

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February 7, 2012

Dutch pigeon sold for record 251,000 euro

Filed under: Animals,Weird by Orangemaster @ 1:15 pm

Last Monday, Dutchman Pieter Veenstra auctioned off 245 pigeons on a Belgian website for over 1.9 million euro, including “the record-breaking hen of the Dolce Vita breed”, which I’m guessing is a huge deal in pigeon land. The bird was bought by a Chinese businessman who plans to use it to breed rather than racing, something that is apparently up and coming in China.

The record breaking price fetched by the bird has sparked a furious debate in the world of pigeon racing, a cult sport in Britain, Belgium, The Netherlands and Germany that is not traditionally regarded as a rich man’s pursuit.

However, celebrity-in-the-making, 15-year-old Lloyd Schuilenburg (video in Dutch), aka ‘Duifmeneer’ (‘Pigeon Man’), is not making a fortune off pigeons, but has been trending on Twitter (@deduifmeneer) and even cranked out a carnival song (see below). His thing is making ‘hoo hoo’ (‘hoe hoe’ in Dutch) sounds to ‘steal other people’s pigeons’. Although very charming and entertaining, he’s not taken very seriously due to the nerd factor of his meme, his unfortunate looks and his thick The Hague accent. Schuilenburg is basically popular for no reason at all, and is enjoying the popularity while others make fun of him. It’s a Dutch thing.

(Link: www.telegraph.co.uk)

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January 29, 2012

Singer gets death threats over burqa song

Filed under: Music by Branko Collin @ 4:05 pm

Radio Netherlands writes:

Dutch satirist Johan Vlemmix has decided not to perform his latest hit Do the Burqa onstage following death threats.

The song, a carnival parody to the music of Van McCoy’s ‘Do the Hustle’, is a huge success on YouTube, so much so that the video provider has switched off the comments facility. Too many people were posting angry reactions saying that they had been insulted.

The images show a woman wearing a T-shirt which can be instantly converted into a burqa […].

The Dutch government wants to ban burqas, a head garment traditionally worn in the Arab world.

Vlemmix once ran for parliament on a platform in which he would become Minister of Fun. In 2007 the entertainer flirted with controversy over a song about Polish guest workers.

See also: Carnival song mocks liberal parties—”Behave yourselves!”

(Video: YouTube / Johan Vlemmix)

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January 23, 2012

Carnival song mocks liberal parties—“Behave yourselves!”

Filed under: Music by Branko Collin @ 6:03 pm

Duo Kwast en Krietje has written a song about the spat between the leaders of the two liberal parties in Dutch parliament, Prime Minister Rutte and PVV leader Wilders, last September. Wilders told the Prime Minister back then to “behave himself” (doe eens normaal in Dutch) during a budget debate.

At the time Wilders’ behaviour was widely held to be inappropriate. Dutch parliamentarians are generally expected to be civil, behaviour that is monitored by the chair.

Carnival is a time in which traditional roles are reversed. Each Carnival association (each town has one, large cities often have more than one) elects its own ‘prince’ who pretends to have taken over from the actual government, and songs and floats often mocks those in power. The tone with which this happens tends to be very light-hearted though—carnival-goers tends to be fairly uncritical of authority in daily life, at least in my experience.

Kwast en Krietje are from the town of Wanroij in Noord-Brabant, near the Limburg border.

(Link: Omroep Brabant. Video: Youtube / Krietje)

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